By Steve BermanGood old Adolf. The Democrats have taken the Hitler dog out for a run so often, they’ve worn out the path. But I was surprised to hear that former President Donald Trump would pick someone as his running mate, who just eight years ago mused on Facebook that Trump was “America’s Hitler.”
But yeah, Sen. J.D. Vance wrote that in 2016.
I also remember, in 2016, that Vance was the darling of the Never Trump camp. I read his compelling autobiography “Hillbilly Elegy” when it came out, and found it smart, well-written, and supported with actual charts and research. I mean the book is now super-popular, literally flying off shelves. It’s been translated into Korean. You can spend $4,000 for an autographed edition. The book has a study guide. Some guy named Frank Kilgore wrote a response titled “J. D. Vance Is a Fake Hillbilly.” And, of course, our favorite director, the child actor from “The Music Man” and “Happy Days” fame, Ron Howard, directed the movie made from Vance’s book (but you gotta have NetFlix to watch it).
That kind of fame inflates a man’s ego like the Grinch’s heart–three times its size.
Of course, somewhere along the line, about the time when Vance decided he had political ambitions, he was struck blind on the Road to Washington. A voice came down from Heaven itself: “J.D., J.D., why do you persecute me?” It was Donald Trump, calling Vance to his destiny.
By the time 2022 came around, when Vance was running for an Ohio seat in the U.S. Senate, he had fully converted to an stolen-election, J6-supporting MAGA man. Reuters reported that: “Vance has said there was no ‘Eureka’ moment that changed his views on Trump.” Oh, I have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale for anyone who believes that. “Rather, he gradually realized that his opposition to the former president was rooted in style rather than substance.”
Vance, in his book exquisitely details his cigarette-smoking, cursing Mamaw, and his drug-addicted mother. He talks about their kind of Christianity, in which the Bible comes out between drags on her butt, but Jesus can only wonder what they find in it. And he says he had a problem with Trump’s style?
Whatever.
So now this Trump convert is expected to bring youth and energy to the campaign. I think the boy wonder has a long way to go. Just before Vladimir Putin unleashed war on Ukraine, Vance said “I gotta be honest with you, I really don’t care what happens to Ukraine one way or the other.”
Now, a certain wing of the MAGA movement, led by figures such as Tucker Carlson, would completely agree with this statement. Let Putin have it, they say. Trump said he’d end the war in Ukraine “immediately,” but the only way that could likely happen is if the U.S. sides with Russia. Even then, Europeans would likely fight on. There is no love lost between, say, Poland–or Finland–and Russia. Siding with Russia against our NATO allies would doom NATO. It would be dead on arrival.
Perhaps that’s what some MAGA people want. It seems to be what Vance wants. But there’s a whole lot of Republicans–who vote–who don’t agree.
And dealing with people who don’t agree with him is one of Vance’s weaknesses. Famed Never Trumper George Conway posted on Threads “He has that certain … 𝘫𝘦 𝘯𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘴 𝘲𝘶𝘰𝘪 … that, you know, um …. a DeSantis-like way with people.” Now, let’s take that with a swig of Mountain Dew–the clip was pooched from a Kamala Harris campaign account. But I do believe that a guy whose ego has been stretched like Joey Chestnut’s stomach might be a bit–well, arrogant–about dealing with the hoi polloi. And you know, Gov. Mike DeSantis, when he’s not coifed and primped for the cameras, is actually a fairly engaging guy.
I don’t know if Vance is an engaging guy to talk to that way. I know that Trump himself was reported by NBC News to prefer Gov. Doug Burgum. His kids persuaded him to go with J.D. It was also reported that Vance was the preferred choice of Elon Musk, who has committed up to $45 million a month to help Trump win.
It’s yet to be seen if Vance can dance. If he can go around the country and help convince voters that Trump is a good idea versus Kamala Harris. In certain bubbles, that question has no merit, but it will take more than certain bubbles to win the election in November.
John Fogerty titled the last song on his “Centerfield” album in 1985 “Zanz Kant Danz” but then changed it to “Vanz Kant Danz.” The song, the main lyrics of which are “Vanz can’t dance, but he’ll steal your money,” was obviously a stab at record company exec Saul Zaentz, with whom Fogerty had a running feud. Zaentz sued and the case settled out of court, but other cases related to the album ended up going all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court, which ruled for Fogerty regarding attorney fees.
In any case, since the memes on “Vance/Dance” never seem to stop on X/Twitter, I think there’s nothing better than a good dose of the former CCR singer. Don’t blame me for the pig reference. I didn’t choose J.D. Vance as a dance partner. We’ll see if Trump made the right call.
Follow Steve on Twitter @stevengberman.
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